Today marks the beginning of Ace Week, formerly known as Asexual Awareness Week.

We've asked Irene, who attended our Annual Conference earlier this year, to reflect on her identity as demisexual.

I don’t often come out as demisexual, but when I do I mentally prepare myself for a long explanation of what it means. I myself had a hard time figuring this out. I remember, in the early 2000s, the first dating websites, and I was shocked to see so many of my peers being intrigued by the idea of finding a partner online, and dating a stranger. Then I found out I was the odd one. I’m the one who needs to meet someone for a long period of time, and get to know their passions, struggles and humour before even thinking of being romantically and sexually involved with them.

The textbook definition of a demisexual person is “someone who may feel sexual attraction if they develop a strong emotional bond with someone”, and, while I agree with the “strong, emotional bond” part, I often feel like the word “attraction” doesn’t define my experience. I would say that I am interested in people, rather than attracted, and take my time to find out if I can consider a romantic and sexual relationtship with someone.

“Does this mean.. you don’t like sex?” – my friends ask, gasping in shock. Well, I actually enjoy sex, I am just not confortable with the idea of experiencing it with someone I don’t know enough. “Does this mean you don’t have a type?” is also a common question. I do have a type, aesthetically speaking, but it’s not a big deal if the person I finally fall in love with does not fit the type description. Height, hair and skin colour, body size, age and even gender are not relevant when I look for a partner. That’s why I identify as demisexual and pansexual as well, as I feel both labels define me and complete each other.

Even if I had a hard time discovering myself and feeling like I was “broken”, I finally can embrace who I am, while also trying as hard as I can to follow Jesus’ love teachings and be welcoming, affirming and supporting of all other stories and identities of people I get to meet, that reflect the wonderful variety of God's creation